this was my second year participating in the big latch on here in Fairbanks. It was great to see many moms and children of all ages participating. In such company it was the only place I would ever feel comfortable allowing zilla to nurse in public.

well of course I was met with positive attitudes,  but I felt as if it was out of place for me.

I don't particularly enjoy nursing zilla.  I haven't for about a year now and he only nurses every few days especially on a stressful day.  I let him but I don't feel like it's anything special anymore.  I feel like he uses it as a crutch.  although I have began to introduce other methods of comforting (like hugs and kisses), I do it because all hell would break loose if I didn't.  I know that all hell breaks loose because he NEEDS the comfort though.  It's just hard to understand unless you've been through it.  It's kind of like when you really need ice cream but all you got is frozen yogurt.  sometimes it's ok but sometimes it just doesn't cut it.  I've been trying to wean him since I was pregnant with bean. i have been taking it one day at a time for twenty months. sometimes I feel like the breastfeeding community doesn't embrace the fact that nursing is sometimes not that great. 

yes it's nice to have positive affirmations but I want a community where I could say "this sucks (literally)". I want a community that says "how is it going?" than "that's great". breastfeeding is so much more complex.  there are so many different emotions involved but we tend to get caught up in only the good ones.  I think there are a lot of negative feelings that we may not feel comfortable divulging to others because of the way the culture is.  I admit it, I sometimes tell people I'd wish he'd just quit and they think I am joking.  I am counting the days when he will wean.  I am going to throw myself a hell of a party.