november is over! fall is over! it's been winter already for better part of september and october, which confuses zilla. (LOL). thanksgiving was a great hit. we fried 2 turkeys and made a ham. I loved the fried turkey so much I want to make a fried truducken next year.
-20*F isn't as bad as people think, especially if there is no wind and that wind just about kills you. sun is low on the horizon. I always wondered how it all worked after hearing about polar nights. I love that we are living all the awesome stuff people talk about. midnight sun, polar nights, moose, aurora sightings. I kind of crack up at all those alaska reality shows on TV. granted, it IS like that. even those who don't 'homestead' are encouraged to have at least a week's worth of non perishable food. yes, cans explode so there are cases of dried foods. plug in your car. life is so different here even if you live an ordinary life. when you live the extraordinary life, there are a lot of EXTRAS.
Paul just left for a week long training exercise. every time we are apart I analyze my feelings I begin to understand the core of attachment parenting.
almost 13 years ago when we started dating, I was insecure, this was my first real relationship, I had come from a broken home, and my self esteem was at an all time low. the future I saw in me was a lonely one, where I would never get married or have kids because I wasn't worthy.
I had quirks. I wanted him to page me. I wanted him to call me. I wanted him to say I love you even if it made him uncomfortable.
he did it for me. respected those feelings and insecurities I had.
I see our relationship now and I still have those insecurities in different forms. what if I neglect my children like my mom did when she was depressed? what if I lash out at them when I get overly tired while he is gone? He reassures me that that is normal. he doesn't minimize those feelings. he buys some video games for zilla so I can have time to myself.
I feel attached to my husband who respects my feelings and when he is gone I feel it the most. a feeling I'd love my own child to experience when I am gone as well.
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