MOAR HORSERADISH!

Yuppp!  we are excited to announce that #3 is on it's way and the greatest part of this is 12 weeks in, paul is still in the US.

so they say, third time is the charm.  ;)

I have hardly felt any nausea.  they say the third one is always... different.  this time it has been different in a good way.  with zilla and bean I wasn't really sick but still semi-nauseated so preggo pops were my lifesaver.  I did have a few days where I needed some but I could count those days on one hand.  I've been craving junk food again which has happened in both pregnancies.  Roast beef and horseradish sandwiches has been an odd out of nowhere craving.  we were at base camp and I just wanted MOAR HORSERADISH!!!   lady brought some out and said it's really strong.  I finished most of it (I had already finished half my sandwich.  LOL)  we went to go look for it at the store and it's been a learning experience.  It's hard to find horseradish anything without HFCS!  well, we did find some annie's horseradish mustard and it keeps the craving at bay but not exactly what I am looking for. 

zilla is convinced that baby b (short for baby 'brother') is a boy.  His logic is though, that he already has a sister.  according to my friends in bean's DDC, that seems to be a running thing amongst older siblings. 

bean seems to be ready too.  I was nursing her for bed and I didn't want to tandem nurse.  I told zilla to wait until she was asleep, instead of being ok with that, bean pointed at my other breast and insisted that they nurse together.  sheesh!  lol.  she also kisses pictures of zilla when he was a baby and she is so taken by them.  we have a book with babies faces on them and she loves it.  I hope she knows what she is getting in to. 

I'm still afraid of sibling resentment.  I don't resent my brother and sisters at all but I do resent how they were used by my mom to control me.  they were never meant to be 'used' that way.  I don't want my kids to have that kind of feelings towards each other either.  I am again, contemplating a home birth.  zilla is REALLY interested in the baby especially after reading the homebirth book.  he wants me to go to the hospital NOW to bring home a baby!  He wants the baby to play xbox with him.  he wants to play sword games with him.  I have to keep telling him that the baby has lots of growing up to do.  ;)

I really can't wait to see how these littles grow up.   

3 days of spring

We seriously only had three days of spring.  after my post last week, things warmed up considerably, and as we hit the memorial day weekend it was in the 70s, AKA summer.  We didn't have a 'melt'.  It all just evaporated.

We drove to Anchorage to sight see.  It was the most amazing ride through the Alaska range.  It is absolutely amazing.  there was snow still on the ground and near denali it was still in the 30s.  We saw a moose and her calf and a herd of caribou (wild reindeer basically) blocking our road on the highway.  We also drove the first 20 minutes of the seward highway south of anchorage and stopped at a wetlands migratory preserve just on the edge of the city.  didn't catch the name though because we just stopped by on a whim. :(  everything was so BEAUTIFUL.  I totally get why people fall in love with this state. 

Anchorage on the other hand was your typical big city with traffic and the usual stores and restaurants you don't get in fairbanks.  Traffic was annoying, and we realized we really didn't miss Target or Applebee's as much as we thought.

We spoke to a random lady at the preserve about a school in Anchorage that has a Japanese immersion program.  We went to look at the area and seemed like it would be something we'd definitely be interested!  It was on the south side of town (meaning close to the seward highway) and it is a lakeside community.  I almost want Paul to ETS 100% (unless we get stationed in Japan).  We are actually selling our condo now just in case we do want to move there.  It was kind of exciting to see what our lives could be outside of the army.

oh and there is a huge Target AND a Fred Meyers.  didn't miss Target *that* much?  who am I kidding.  :)

spring is finally here ;)

we had snow on saturday (high did not even reach 32).  even locals and long time residents were swearing under their breath on how cold it was at the farmers market, but in the most alaska-esque way, people streamed in, looked around, ate, and drove away.  temperature was not bad at all but the windchill was pretty killer..

facebook.

so full of drama.

sometimes though, you get those moments where honest discussion is going on and a complete stranger does the right thing, and all of a sudden you realize that there are good people in this world.

after the boston marathon bombings, I got a message in my 'others' folder from a random guy.  We don't have mutual friends, but I was highly active on libertarian groups about the happenings in boston. 

One issue that I was really stunned by was the call for people to classify Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (a naturalized citizen) as a domestic terrorist therefore nullifying any rights granted to him by the constitution to a fair trial.  Included in those who called for such actions were military personnel, who are of course, sworn to up hold the constitution of the United States. 

It was one of these soldiers who had messaged me. 

Still don't like the pro Muslim support...and the calls for a fair trial after all the stuff him and his brother did.

I've been over there 4 times. Nothin but hatred. I'm all for peace and understanding but you CANNOT do that with these people. They are truly less than human not because of their race but because of their views of other people in this world.

I get it.  I totally get it, is what I told him.  Your feelings are entirely valid. 

It just really saddens me that he seemed to be kind of surprised that I respected his views.  I don't know if the fact that I am a military wife makes a difference or not.  I have never been to war.  I don't feel like it's my place ever to judge someone when I have not walked in their shoes. This guy... I could tell by his writings, that he has been judged.

yet people wonder why soldiers are committing suicide due to PTSD in alarming numbers. 

DS still nurses and sometimes I really doubt myself if it's the 'right thing' for him, even if I *KNOW* it is the right thing for him.  I make the best educated choice for my kids but I can never shake that small voice inside my head away.  I drive myself batty even though I *KNOW* every child/parent relationship is different with different needs.  I worry that he'll be forever dependent on me emotionally, but I know he won't. 

Last weekend we went to the children's museum and he wanted to go on the climbing wall.  the spotters pull them up if they can't 'climb' until the child requests to stop.  zilla went up crazy high!  he actually didn't request to be brought back down.  his time was just up and the spotter had to bring him down.

I am glad that sometimes life reminds you in subtle ways that things will be ok.  I did mentally compare him with the other kids there and hate to admit it, but it felt so good.  I was proud of him not being afraid to go up so high.  Most of all I'm glad that I am not 'messing' him up - although I know I am not, nice to have reminders once in a while.

 

I had been so good at maintaining this thing and it fell apart.

It's still winter here.

next week will mark 6 months of snow and the weather isn't cooperating.  april is supposed to be the month of the melt - but this year, it is the month of record snowfall (1929).  It's not bad, as in it is still warm enough for all of us to bundle up and play outside.  Still, it's disheartening when you see about 6 inches of new snow when everyone else is celebrating spring.

Speaking of spring, I really want to start a garden this year.  I've done a decent job keeping my indoor plants alive (although I did almost kill them, I brought it back from the brink which is sadly giving me more hope about my gardening skills)

I was notified by an email from the command that paul will be deployed next year.  Horrible as it sounds, I wish I had not known.  The last two times he deployed I only had 3 weeks notice but this time I will be a nervous wreck for about a year.  It was so much easier for me when I had to buckle up and deal with it because there simply was not enough time to worry.  This time it just simply stews in my mind.  I think about it everyday and I know I would be thinking about it until it happens.

  I'll be thinking about it all summer.  :( 

forgot. again.

yesterday was our wedding anniversary. 

we forgot together again.  :)  this year, we didn't forget to try not to forget though. 

paul says, "remember the alamo!"